TEETH!

All was well with my newly implemented crowns until last week when random bursts of pain started to emanate through my mouth. On the Wednesday I was woken up by the pain at 5am. It’s not very pleasant being woken up by your teeth, especially when they feel like they’re trying to bore through your skull. The pain subsided however. I had to go to the police station to register my new passport (a big improvement on the previous one’s picture actually; from a big, sad head to a big, surprised head). On the way, the teeth started complaining again. Passers-by were greeted with the image of a foreigner on his bike, clutching a railing with his face screwed up like a reef knot, punching a lamppost and growling. It was time to go back to the dentist. She put a root cavity in the offending incisor. All was well, although to get the emergency appointment I had to take thursday off work. The boss phoned and asked if I could make up for the missed classes by working on the weekend. Bugger off. No. This isn’t The Great Leap Forward. We’re not smelting iron in our back yards here. I’m not working for the Party, I’m working for a school called Wala Wala. She wasn’t very impressed.

The next day Aussie Ben was sick. This time the boss managed to get a replacement teacher. I’d met him before, but time had faded his ridiculousness in my memory. The bloke is about 6 feet tall and 6 feet wide. He is an albino black man and an orthodox muslim. He talks like Ali G – and I’m not being racist here, he actually said “Aw man, the bitches in Shanghai are bouncing brudda and i’m not fronting.” To top it off he wears glasses with both lenses sporting huge vertical cracks down the middle of them. When he walked into Ben’s class the kids started screaming and one of them could be heard chanting “Monster! Monster!” Got to love the honesty.

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