The boss of our school recently announced that she liked my voice. Not reading too much into this, I soon found myself in a recording studio doing voice over work for a range of new English learning CDs for kids. On the other side of the sound proof glass were a couple of bored sound technicians and my boss giving directions such as – “Sound happier! More enthusiasm!” I got to listen to the CD the other day. I lasted ten seconds. No-one likes the sound of their own voice, but when you can hear yourself announcing “Let’s play!” over a Casio keyboard on “Happy Plinky Plonk Jingle” setting, while some pre-recorded children cheer and laugh, it’s enough to make you go eternally mute. I had to go through the whole alphabet with a little ditty for each letter. “A, a, apple! Apple! Apple! Big and red! B, b, book! Book! Book! I can read!” etc. I had no idea I could sound so convincingly enthusiastic nor did I know there was such a level of creepiness that I could reach. It’s a terrifying CD, especially when I had to do different characters. The thing is I didn’t know I was meant to do different characters as I was just reading off a manuscript. Therefore you hear a kid introduced as Tom saying in my voice, “I’m a boy.” Little Ada then replies, “And I’m a girl!” In my voice. I’m not quite sure what the boss was thinking with regards to the production of the CD but rest assured I will either try my hardest to sabotage the whole thing or I’ll push for a monstrous bonus. After all, every recording star has his price.