T, t, Terrible!

The boss of our school recently announced that she liked my voice.  Not reading too much into this, I soon found myself in a recording studio doing voice over work for a range of new English learning CDs for kids.  On the other side of the sound proof glass were a couple of bored sound technicians and my boss giving directions such as – “Sound happier!  More enthusiasm!”  I got to listen to the CD the other day.  I lasted ten seconds.  No-one likes the sound of their own voice, but when you can hear yourself announcing “Let’s play!” over a Casio keyboard on “Happy Plinky Plonk Jingle” setting, while some pre-recorded children cheer and laugh, it’s enough to make you go eternally mute.  I had to go through the whole alphabet with a little ditty for each letter.  “A, a, apple!  Apple!  Apple!  Big and red!  B, b, book!  Book!  Book!  I can read!”  etc.  I had no idea I could sound so convincingly enthusiastic nor did I know there was such a level of creepiness that I could reach.  It’s a terrifying CD, especially when I had to do different characters.  The thing is I didn’t know I was meant to do different characters as I was just reading off a manuscript.  Therefore you hear a kid introduced as Tom saying in my voice, “I’m a boy.”  Little Ada then replies, “And I’m a girl!”  In my voice.  I’m not quite sure what the boss was thinking with regards to the production of the CD but rest assured I will either try my hardest to sabotage the whole thing or I’ll push for a monstrous bonus.  After all, every recording star has his price.

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