A tremendous Hallowe’en night out was had at the weekend. I’d spent the previous 48 hours holding Hallowe’en parties for the kids at the school, which was as knackering as it sounds. The other teachers and I had decided to spice up proceedings however, by seeing who could scare the most kids to tears. Australian Ben stomped home to victory with a mighty total of ten by the end of the weekend. His ensemble of Scream mask, skeleton arms and cloak seemed to do the trick. His routine of remaining motionless behind unsuspecting children before enveloping them in his cloak pretty much pushed the cry button with every attempt. He was a master. I only managed a paltry four weepings, but this is largely because I have a conscience and I wasn’t prepared to psychologically scar any infants. In retrospect it seems quite cruel, but you’d do the same if the same kids had been taunting you for the past 4 months. It was awesome.
Anyway, the night out afterwards took me and Ben to a scuzzy little bar in the French Concession where I met a country singer who claimed to have worked for Nintendo. This instantly put him in the top 5 coolest people I’d ever met. He claimed that the Gamecube was his baby. I asked him numerous geeky questions surrounding Mariokart until he got bored and starting singing songs about how drunk Aussie Ben had got. Then I bumped into a woman dressed like a 1920s Chicago dolly bird. For some reason I started pretending to be a 1920s landlord/club owner a la Fat Sam. I have never been so owned in my life. For every witty improvisation she returned with a scything put-down, all in character. Ben announced that he thought he was dreaming. I was pretty much in love. When we got home (just me and Ben I may add, sadly) we decided it would be really funny to confuse the security guards and have a fake fight. I’m not really sure what happened but the security guards didn’t do anything and Ben is now moving around with a limp.
I’d like to dedicate this post to the wee kid who was so scared of me at school he performed a superman leap off the stairs and landed on his head, cracking his novelty mask in two. Thank god they don’t do law suits here.