The Magic Number

The hot spell continues, or the sun’s revenge on my helpless pasty skin endures. I’ve been very busy though, well busy on the days off work. The more I explore, the more I find and suddenly there’s a growing number of things to do. Actually doing things in a place where no-one speaks your tongue was proving somewhat impossible until recently, whereupon I discovered the legendary Magic Number. The Magic Number is the greatest number in history. Greater than 999 (even with Michael Beurk) 90210 and even the hilarious 69. The Magic Number is this: 962288. Upon tapping these six digits into your phone you are connected to a group of English speaking savants who can aid you in literally any problem you may be experiencing. So far they’ve helped me with taxis, talking directly to the cabbies to ensure a seamless journey. They’ve helped with movie screenings at cinemas, guiding me to the most appropriate English speaking showing of Toy Story 3 and just today got me to a little book shop I’d heard about near People’s Square. Rumours persist they can help you fix a U-bend, back a trailer or even win in the stock exchange. When I speak to them I imagine I’m connected directly to one of those bald floating ladies in The Minority Report. They don’t use phones, but have wires attached directly to their brains. Either that or they work on minimum wage and have google.

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